So, imagine my disappointment when I came out of the cinema feeling less than enamoured with what promised to be a ‘thrilling’ and ‘comic’ cinematic spectacular.

The narrative follows the life of American novelist, Paul Kemp (Depp) as he starts a job in Puerto Rico, writing for a struggling local newspaper and at the same time, struggling to hold onto his rum drenched sanity. Sounds promising right?

Based on the original novel by American writer Hunter S. Thompson, the viewer is transported into the 1960s Caribbean lifestyle, with rum, fast cars, more rum and dingy apartments with no running water and binoculars to see into the neighbours living room to watch the television, all topped off with another glass of rum, and some drugs on the side, which you get over by throwing back another shot of, you guessed it, rum!

Ok, so the way I introduced this review shows that I didn’t love the film so bear with me for a second because it does have a lot of merit, but, it’s a bit like that moment when you really crave that cookie in the window, and you finally get it, but then you bite into it and its edible but it’s the crunchy kind rather than the soft chewy one you wanted it to be.  

So let’s start on a high with the good things about this film.

Visually, this piece is stunning. The camera work is beyond professional and the costume and scenery departments should get a standing ovation at the credits as they really did get it spot on. The location was sublime with the perfect division of sandy beaches and crystal blue sea to shaky pubs and shady apartments.

The casting is bang on the money with Johnny Depp veering in and out of sanity, Aaron Eckhart playing the greedy, upper class villain, Giovanni Ribisi giving the performance of his career and Michael Rispoli providing the perfect comic supporting actor.  

Ok, now to the script. This is where it fell down for me I’m afraid. Now I don’t get bored in films, I can sit and watch Gnomeo and Juliet without fidgeting, I can sit through the epic western that is True Grit and not contemplate sneakily glancing at my watch. This film however tested my patience to the absolute max. I watched this film in the afternoon and I half expected to come out into a full moon at midnight.

In a way I appreciated the fact that they managed to pack quite a lot into the story but it was really messy. It was like they hired the first script writer, fired him half way through when the storyline actually picked up and I thought, thank heaven, now I get this film and understand why I’m watching it, and then re-hired the bad one again for the rest of the film.

Just to draw your attention to the scripting merits, half way through when the comic havoc starts and the characters actually start being witty and cracking jokes, I felt a great relief as the film had purpose again and I actually sat back for about 10 minutes to enjoy it! The script was gold dust here, but like gold dust, it was so fine that it got lost again in the narrative.

And Johnny Depp’s facial expressions really made the film for me! He is so quintessentially American in that way. It is something which really defines his career, with a bit of Jack Sparrow coming through and yet at the same time he is quite prudish in his mannerisms which make the whole experience quite enjoyable.

But I’m sorry, the ending was a complete cop out in my opinion! Director Bruce Robinson, what were you thinking?

I so wanted to love this film and write a raving review about how worthy of an Oscar it was and how everyone must flock to see it but in the end, it reminded me of my experience when watching ‘Lost in Translation’. There was nothing unduly wrong with the production or the use of interesting camera work and casting but when it was all put together, it was simply dull.

Better luck next time Depp!

The casting for ‘In Time’ is right on the money, the whole cast interact perfectly on screen and even though I prefer Amanda Seyfried in her comedy roles such as ‘Mamma Mia’, rather than her running around in a chic bob and belt length dresses, it seemed to work, except the fact that she was constantly running in high heels which, lets be honest, is ridiculous in any situation!

‘In Time’ is the new film by director Andrew Niccol (The Truman Show, The Terminal) featuring Justin Timberlake (Bad Teacher) as Will Salas, Amanda Seyfried (Dear John) as Sylvia Weis and Cilian Murphy (Inception) as the typical cop or ‘timekeeper’ on their tails.  

Humanity now ages until 25 where they stop growing and their time ticks away. The rich can live forever but the poor have to work each day just to live through the night!

The concept that the currency is now time is so simple and yet, at the same time, completely blows the mind, and the whole film perfectly highlights consumerism and the economy of our time. Certainly gives running for your life a whole new meaning!

Time is money, but it’s so much more than that. In society, if you run out of money you go into debt, over draft, bankruptcy, then you pick yourself and start a new but ‘In Time’ you are literally out of time. Your empty ‘bank’ is reflected in the fallen dead bodies which lay in the roads. Humans are almost depicted as machines, as the ‘ghettos’ are dispensable to those at the top.

Something which I found particularly mind boggling was the pricing within the film. The phase “Four minutes for a cup of a coffee” seems a large portion of your life to give up, however, thinking about it, this is the exact amount of time which we take out of our own lives to enjoy that cup of coffee.

At the centre, it is a simple guy from the ghetto meets the girl, fights against the corporate machine with a cop on their backs with a history story line, but, I can honestly say that the scripting and storyline were faultless.

The film was among the best cinematic experiences this year and I would give 2 hours of my life to see it again.

Two pirates searching through the mysterious subplots, Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz

So, I shall begin by simply saying that I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean 4 on May 21st, 3 hours before the apparent end of the world. Well, as you can see, we do appear to still be intact and I can also say that I am glad that this film was not the last one I ever saw.

The trilogy has wondered and entertained generations of families, with Disney surpassing itself in the computer generated arena. The writers have had us in stitches with actors such as Orlando Bloom and Geoffrey Rush capturing our hearts. The infamous Captain Jack Sparrow will forever remain Johnny Depp’s best role.

But with such a huge weight on the shoulders of such a successful franchise, I am sorry to report that the new film, ‘On stranger tides’ is a slight disappointment. Perhaps it was my own fault for expecting too much, I admit that I did work myself up for the film, and was genuinely excited as I sat in my seat among a 600 easy cinema screen.

An epic cinema for an epic film.

Hardly.

I do not wish to be too critical, as I do love the Pirate films and can re-watch them all until the bitter end but, as with anything that has been successful continually, it was bound to fall eventually, and therefore I will keep the analysis brief.

This new venture seemed to lack the spice and pace of the other three, there were parts in which I felt myself drift as I was bored. Sparrow seemed to have sparing moments of wit and humour which were not up to his usual standard. I found Blackbeard rather random and, although he acted well, I didn’t really ‘get’ him. The narrative was all over the place, as if the writers had too many ideas, all of them interesting, but clashing when used together. And the introduction of the Spanish opposition and religious overtones seemed separate to the piece as a whole.
But I will say that to judge this film as a singular creation would be better than to look at it through the eyes of the quadrilogy, so to do it justice, this is the attitude to take.

It does have some redeeming qualities.

The acting is second to none, visually, it is as spectacular as ever, faultless CGI technology, and although sparingly, it was still funny.

Although I do not think that I will be buying this film when it comes out, I would still recommend people to go and see it, if for nothing else, to watch Jack break out of London right under the nose of the English Royal Guard.

Oh and I beg you to watch it in 2D as it really is not worth the extra money for 10 seconds of genuine technology. The credits were the most 3D aspect of it!

With scope for a fifth production, I just hope that should the team decide to continue the story that they take a serious look at why the others were so popular and come back bigger and better than ever.

Savvy?

This film focuses on struggling writer Eddie Morra, broke, lay about, and recently out of a relationship, whose chance stumble across an old friend in town sets him up on a drug induced addiction of a life time. But having this much power is sure to attract attention and Eddie soon finds himself fighting for his life in this fast paced thriller. How far does the scam go, no one knows, all Eddie can be sure of is that if he gets slow, he and his love interest could lose everything, including their lives.

Sitting in what can only be described as a box where half the space is taken up solely by the screen, and seats which have clearly never been introduced to the idea of personal space, although very comfy, slowly filling up with expectant viewers, I couldn’t help thinking that, on advanced screenings, ‘Limitless’ was going to turn into another ‘Unknown’ experience.

Surely a film as big as this would command the huge theatre, which insists the viewers take the film seriously, as there has been speculation that they would need the amphitheatre of all screens, such was the expectation of the audience size?

But no, this cinema had opted for the more confined, intimate setting which, whether it was for financial purposes or a lucky shot by the manager, was a stroke of genius.

The film exploded onto the screen, with fast track editing and superior camera work; there was no need for 3D elements as you already felt propelled into the environment which Bradley Cooper, playing lead character Eddie Morra, finds himself.

What was so refreshing about this film was the no nonsense beginning which simply threw you straight into the narrative. No time was wasted setting up a tragic back story or chance meeting with the ‘drug dealer’ half an hour in. It all happened in the first 10 minutes which was brilliant as it meant the rest of the film could tackle the various side narratives and interweaving plot lines which made for a very enjoyable experience.

It does not deem itself as a parallel universe theory, it was not trying to suggest that such a pill existed and if humans could access the full 100% of our brains that this was the life you would lead, it was merely suggestive in an intelligent manner.  

Visually, this film is faultless. The opening pan of the town where Eddie is picked out by the camera lends its brilliance to the earlier works of Hitchcock, while the camera tints to illustrate Eddie’s tripping mind and ceilings turning into huge lines of moving numbers is matching to techniques used in films such as the Matrix. All of which is combined to express to the audience just how the pill really works, and you feel as though you are buzzing with Eddie throughout.

Underlying issues like the glorification of him essentially tripping right through the film which leads to his mastermind episodes could be scrutinised but everything in the plot should be taken on the chin.

The writers were right on the money with this film, I would go so far as to say that there is such a drug out there and they were using it. The script in particular is brilliant, especially with the addition of humorous episodes throughout, where you do laugh out loud, but because the joke was intelligent, not slapstick.

Although one minor nitpick which I have with this film is the slightly ‘Twilight’-esque element in a single scene. Not trying to give away too much, but Eddie finds himself having to choose between dying in his apartment or drinking the blood of a man who has injected himself with the brilliant drug. I’m sure you can guess what happens; needless to say I was cringing. However, on the up side, that scene brings to light the true nature of people’s addictions and how once tripping, you would do anything to stay afloat. It also highlights the very real concept of humanities will to survive. The line in the film is “We are instinctive creatures, who want to live”, and this could not be truer.

But the question is, how far would you go to have everything? Watch this film, and it will probably answer that question for the whole of humanity.

A film which is finally equal to the trailer, ‘Limitless’ although not ground breaking, is still a very interesting and intelligent concept which really should have audiences flocking to watch it.

It is a re-telling of Shakespeare’s traditional love story of Romeo and Juliet….with Gnomes….animated…..in 3D….need I say anymore?

I won’t bore you by regurgitating the age old classic narrative; the first half of the film would easily do the job for me. All you need to know is that there are two neighbouring gardens at war with one another, the red (Capulet) and the blue (Montague) but the children, Gnomeo and Juliet, are in love after a chance meeting in a strangers garden.

A fun concept, and one which allows children to engage with one of the most famous Englishmen ever born, has been completely destroyed in this film. The trailers promised comic antics, chaotic mower races and general talent with stars such as Emily Blunt, James McAvoy, Michael Caine, Ozzy Ozbourne, Jason Statham (I could go on) signing their names to what can only be described as a complete waste of money and time.

Shakespeare would be turning in his grave if he could see the abomination that is this film.

And, disappointingly, the animators have missed a huge opportunity to impress by neglecting the focus on 3D animation in favour of hoodwinking as many stars as possible into the credits.

Yet another triumph for the trailer directors who have managed to pull a Darren Brown illusion style trick, playing to the audiences subconscious desire for comedy and big stars. But, when the curtain falls, the illusion is shattered, much like my patience whilst viewing this failure.

After sitting through the film for almost two hours, the almost over-riding yearning to drop kick every garden gnome I see is the overall effect this film induces on the suckers who were taken in by the colourful promises of the trailer (myself obviously included in this).

Avoid at all costs, but kids, be kind to your gnomes, otherwise they may destroy your garden with a mower and bore you to death with monotone jokes and pointy hats.

This new offering centres around Doctor Martin Harris, who after awaking from a coma , discovers that someone has stolen his identity and not even his wife believes that he is the true Doctor. Confused and alone in a foreign country, Harris, with the help of a young woman called Gina must set out to prove who he is and get his life back on track again.

Unknown is truly the perfect title for this latest film by director Jaume Collet-Sera (The Orphan and House of Wax), as audiences walk out feeling confused and in some respects disappointed, but on the other hand, humourously enlightened and spellbound.

The first half of the film is beautifully filmed with intense camera actions during violent scenes and the tints on the camera to create a monotone and airy Berlin add to the drama and unfriendliness of the plot. The composer creates tension with an emotional score and the general acting is engaging as you feel just as confused as the character. The tale promises to be one of intrigue and espionage.

And then, there’s a random twist.

The whole scenery changes into a Bourne-esque cat and mouse game, which in itself sounds fascinating but although I wouldn’t put it past Neeson to be able to kick ass abroad, something in the narrative jars.

This is where it gets complicated, as the twist can either be seen as a stroke of genius or a stereotypical dive into the ever-growing genre of plot-twisters which actually, in the end, add little to the story and destroy the initial viewing pleasure. It felt as though the writers had a long day of scripting, it was about 7o’clock, they are bored, want to go home, and some bright spark, either a cleaner, geeky work experience kid or some other random pipes up with this ‘brilliant idea’ and the exhausted talented writers who just want to go home have gone, “Yep, that’s great, that will do, right see you tomorrow”. And that was that, a split second of desperation and the film goes from being what would have been an intense psychological thriller to a random explosive car chase with a bomb threat.

Final word on this film, the title truly sums up my feelings on this film, they remain forever more ‘unknown’.

Black Swan sailed onto the big screen earlier this year, and the viewing public did not know what they were in for!

The Oscar award winning film left audiences spell-bound with the graceful swan that epitomises the best and worst of each individual’s character. The main star of the piece is Nina Sayers, a ballet dancer who wins the lead in “Swan Lake” and is perfect for the role of the delicate White Swan – Princess Odette – but slowly loses her mind as she becomes more and more like Odile, the Black Swan.

The only way to truly appreciate the phenomenon of ‘Black Swan’ is to describe the personal experience.

I can honestly say that I have never had a cinema experience like it, and I doubt I ever will again. I was physically and mentally exhausted. The whole film was a continuous drug trip, a disturbing rollercoaster of unnerving delight and gruelling intrigue. Each scene a new offering of fantasy and drama, love and betrayal, horror and judgement; each more spectacular than its predecessor.

Every now and then a film comes along and it makes you think WOW! That is what the industry is about. Well this beauty surpasses all those, and makes blockbuster heroes look like ants in the arena.

Ignore what people tell you about the film simply watch it, let it take you on a journey which you will never forget. Director Darren Aronofsky is a true magician, and the writers Mark Heyman, Andres Heinz and John J.McLaughlin are true masters in their craft.

One of the most talked about westerns of this year, the Cohen brothers are back, tackling the almost extinct Wild West genre.

Even the characters look confused and disappointed!

In order to resurrect the initial adoration for cowboys and Indians, the story centres around young Mattie Ross, played by Hailee Steinfeld, who is out to take revenge on her father’s murderer, helped along the way by U.S. Marshal, Rooster Cogburn played by Jeff Bridges and Texan LaBoeuf, played by Matt Damon. This film promised to re-ignite the extinguished light of love for the olden tales, but how?

Maybe through quick paced action sequences, fast cutting storylines, improved camera techniques and quick tongued cowboys?

No siree partner!

The Cohen brothers opted for traditional, out-dated values with long drawn out, essentially boredom inducing storylines, random bouts of dialogue, most of which is incomprehensible, and at times, appalling country accents.

But as far as the re-making aspect goes, obviously no sequel is superior to the first, but it has a damn good try at it.

A positive aspect for this film is the acting. Each individual was spot on when capturing the essential characteristics of their personality, and it was refreshing to see Matt Damon attempting a role slower and more challenging than his traditional Bourne assassin stereotypes.

But as for the rest of the film….un-rateable.

The real directors here are those in charge of compiling the trailers. The skills which went in to making this film the ‘new, hard-hitting western of 2011’ show real craftsmanship. I expect to see them employed by the hustle team at any moment.

However if not being able to understand half of the dialogue in the film, stereotypical shootouts and the slowest narrative brutally interrupted by random mad characters is your idea of a box office smash, then this is the film for you.

I must confess however that there is a few thin threads of hope for this film which weave it into a 2/5 rating. The scenery is breathtaking (1/2 point), the dying horses acting is worthy of an Oscar (1/2 point) and the few flits of substantial, recognisable humour are actually quite entertaining (1 point).

Let’s see if animated western, ‘Rango’ can save the ever weaning and deteriorating genre, after all, ‘this town ain’t big enough for both of them!

What makes this life even more complicated is our access to each other, when we eventually get together. The initial chemistry between a couple can be reignited time and time again through the diversity of technology. Instantaneous messages via text or Facebook, random emails or phone calls allow us to reach each other whenever we want.

A more acute focus on our body clocks encourages us to focus on getting the man, and then working out how long it should be until you do things like give each other a key to apartments, move in, get married, have children etc. Everything needs to happen according to the plan, within a limited time, so nabbing the man and the initial honeymoon period is crucial, but does access to this technology create an instant connection, or does it actually elongate the process?

Before all this came along, matches were created on the spot, you didn’t know if you would see them again, you couldn’t look up their profile on Facebook and see where they lived, what their interests were, or who their friends are. All of this information had to be achieved through the more archaic form of gathering, talking. And I mean talking face to face. You would have to go out on a ‘date’ to find out things about one another and decide whether the two of you were compatible. Now, people can simply look at you interests, see how you talk to each other on your wall. They don’t need to ask you what you get up to, they just have to look at your latest tag pictures or indeed your new albums.

Or when you actually get the date with your significant other who you have been dreaming about, you make a complete fool of yourself by quoting something from their profile and they think you’re a stalker. Yet another tip which both sexes have to remember when trying to be mysterious or inviting, if you have read their blog or profile, don’t ask them about their latest status or what they wrote on someone’s wall. They will run a mile away! And the relationship status is a no go point (but I think that is a subject for another time).

If anything, the new forms of media encourage us to make a faster judgement about someone, than when physically present. A single wrong picture or comment between friends can totally obliterate previous feelings of endearment and if anything, abolish any good will towards them for ever more.

I suppose the moral of this article is to remember to take the time to really get to know someone and not to be so desperate to pair off with your prince or princess. When jumping off lovers leap, the falling is half the fun!

Oh and as a side note, think about what you put on your Facebook! You never know if it is going to come round and bite you!